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The Illusion Of Independence

July 24, 2009

Growing up, as much as you mothers don’t want to hear it or admit it (since you really already know), boys are looking to grow into men and become independent.  Yeah so we don’t always know what that means or what that will entail, but we do know that we wanna do it on our own!  So we try.  We do everything we can to get away from those that we have always been dependent on.  This is a huge thing for us as we get older and want to move out of the house or away from home.  But tonight I was thinking in the other direction.  (No I don’t mean that we are moving back to OK.)

All our lives we want to be independent.  But when we really get down to it our lives are so dependent on lots of little things.  Like my cell phone.  Right now I am sitting here writing this wondering how my wife is doing.  She had to work late tonight and I wanna check on her (another thing I am dependent on…my wife) but I can’t.  My phone has no service for some reason.  I don’t know what the deal is but it is making me realize how much I depend on my phone.

Another thing for me is my car.  I have been without a car for extended periods of time (weeks) before and it is very difficult.  You have to be able to swallow your pride and ask for help way more than I want to be able to.  Or how about AC?  I have lived in Oklahoma, Texas, and California.  These states are pretty good at getting hot.  Without the AC living can be pretty miserable.  How many times do we change our plans because of the heat or because of the AC?  And the list goes on and on.

It’s pretty easy to see that we are very dependent on the things that help us.  I would even say it is easy to be dependent on the ones that we love.  So why is it so difficult to be dependent on God?  Why do we like to pretend that we are really independent and don’t need Him?  There are so many uncertainties in this world, yet for some reason, we try to trick ourselves and others into believing that we aren’t dependent on the only One who is certain.  We sing as a song in church with the main line that says “it’s all because of Jesus I’m alive”.  Do we really realize the truth in that?  He allows us to breathe.  That leaves us pretty freakin’ dependent on Him if you ask me!  I don’t want to live my life pretending that I don’t need a God that is solely responsible for me continuing to live and breath.  That’s my prayer today.  I want to live my life fully knowing and trusting in the God I know loves me instead of with the illusion of independence.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 24, 2009 1:26 PM

    I love you. Great thoughts baby! I’m so thankful to have such a wonderful man!!

  2. dad permalink
    July 24, 2009 7:40 PM

    I find it interesting that God creates us very dependent on others at first, struggle to become independent and then give us those who are dependent on us( and eventually become dependent on them ). It’s clearly a lesson to realize we must be dependent on someone and who better than on God. The more you can assure those who become dependent on you that your love for them is unquestioned, the easier it is for them to learn to depend on Him when the time comes.

  3. dmjames permalink
    July 25, 2009 9:39 AM

    hmmm. I think we always knew that was your goal 🙂
    Thinking deep thoughts. amazing blog.

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