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The First Year Of Marriage….

July 25, 2008

is always the hardest.  That’s what we always here.  Not just my wife and I, but it seems like that’s what the world preaches to us.  Why is that?  Is there a specific reason that the first year is supposed to suck?  It’s because you haven’t lived with each other yet and you don’t REALLY know how they are until then, right?  Well, you don’t really let your true colors shine until you are with each other 24/7, right?

My wife and I haven’t made it through our first year yet and actually not quite made it halfway, but I have to say that I don’t believe this is the case.  Yes, it is very different living with a girl.  I think they have a weird 6th sense or x-ray vision or something that tells them when something is just barely starting to get dirty.  I swear.  I do not understand this and probably never will.  I will never know how a girl can look at a bathtub that is white and say, “gross. It’s like soo dirty, right?”  It just dumbfounds me.  When you look at it and you can see soap scum or dirt or something like that, yes, it is dirty.  But somehow the girls just know when anything in the kitchen, bathroom, utility room, closet, drawers, under the bed, inside my nightstand, etc. is starting to get close to possibly in the next month or so potentially needing to be cleaned because it is kinda dirty.
I digress.
Back to the point of the post for today.  I believe that this first year (so far mind you) has been the best.  I don’t wanna just speak for us, but I have talked to other newly weds that have said the same thing.  One of them just yesterday.  Don’t get me wrong.  There have been difficult things.  But those for the most part seemed to be outside issues that we would have had to deal with sooner or later without each other.  We have dealt with finances, looking for jobs, quiting jobs, dealing with stupid people, health issues, surgeries, car problems, buying new-to-us cars, getting married, etc.  Those are probably the things that we have gone through that have been the most difficult.  Sooner or later those things are still going to happen to us, but dealing with them during marriage, to me, seems to be even better because we constantly have someone to lean on.  You can’t beat that.  This past year or so of our relationship has brought us closer together than anything I could have planned (other than moving away forever to an island so beautiful, with perfect surfing waves, amazing sand, crystal clear water, indoor plumbing, a shower, satellite TV and fast internet).
I have recently started reading blogs from other young relatively newly married couples and they seem to be the same way.  Is that just a misconception?  Do we just try to hide those things from everyone else?  I don’t know.  I’m new at this.  I still tell my buddies when the wifey is mad at me…in front of her.  We still have disagreements…well, I should probably say, we still have times that she is upset with me because I respond to something as a stupid guy and not a sensitive husband.  But we always seem to get past it.
If in some crazy way we look back in 10, 20, 50 years and say wow, everything has gotten better every single year since then and now we can say that the first year of marriage was our least favorite because of all the years that have followed, then I will be cool with the phrase.  Until then, I hope I don’t agree with it at all.
4 Comments leave one →
  1. Kara Kae permalink
    July 25, 2008 11:59 AM

    The first year is the BEST…at least the first 5 months have been awesome:) Love you!

  2. Jason Waymire permalink
    July 25, 2008 2:21 PM

    I completely agree…my first year was awesome…I feel sorry for people who have to work really hard to have a good marriage…Maybe there is something to getting married when you are old.

  3. Cassie&David permalink
    July 25, 2008 2:28 PM

    David may disagree (ha, I doubt it) but your post really hits the nail on the head. Now I’m not asking for trouble, but I often find myself wondering “when is this suppose to be WORK?” I think it means that we are truly blessed, or maybe God is having mercy on us b/c He knows what’s up ahead. :0)

  4. D. James permalink
    July 26, 2008 10:41 PM

    Well looking back 30+ years I would say the first year was among the best years of my life. I say among because the recient years have been the best. What I have always heard is that the first year is one of the most stressful times of most marriages.
    But then in a few years kids come and more stress arrives.Yes there is stress but you are right, now you have your best friend to share all things with so you slog thru it togather. If you marry the right person to whom God has lead you the stress is greatly decreased. It seems you have…

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